The King and I, Jinn Nee Journals
by ThatGuyRex
Summary: A journal that details the experiences of Jinn Nee, a young girl wed to the King of Siam. Follows the plotline of the musical, showing the young girl's feelings through all the significant parts... and goes a little bit past the end of the musical.
1. The Beginning

Jinn Nee, Personal Diary  
  
**Siam, Royal Palace, December 15th, 1861**  
  
My name is Jinn Nee. I am a royal wife of the King Mongkut. When I was thirteen years of age, I was brought to the palace and became a wife. I am eighteen years of age now, and much has happened since then. His Majesty, the King, has many wives and at first I felt very lost among them, but the King takes very good care of his wives. I have born him a daughter, Ying Yaowlak.  
  
I have decided to keep this journal to recount my experiences. I know that being a woman, this journal will never become something important, but I hope that when I am older, my daughter and her children can read it. I believe that my King can greatly change Siam, with the right kind of push. Perhaps someday this journal will be a reminder of Siam's past.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, April 23rd, 1862**  
  
His Majesty has arranged for a new tutor in English language and Western customs. Anna Leonowens will arrive in a few weeks from England. I do not know what to expect. My daughter is full of questions about this English woman. This woman must be scientific, I have heard she is coming alone, with her young son. There is no man accompanying her.  
  
The King seemed especially pleased with the clothing I finished for some of the royal children today. Perhaps he will share his bed with me tonight... I can only hope. It is difficult for the King to pay attention to every wife in the kingdom, when he has so many. It has been a while since the last time, however...  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, April 24th, 1862**  
  
Last night was a very wonderful night.  
  
I have heard the other women talking, I have been around the kingdom for enough years to be included in the older wives' conversations. Some of the wives are dissatisfied with their emotional relationship with the King. Many of them feel that once every so often is not enough. They say that they would not remain here if they did not have to.  
  
I do not understand these women. They must not know the King as I do. He is a kind and benevolent ruler who is trying hard to bring Siam into the modern world. He does the best he can, and I love him for who he is. I have no idea what opinion he has of me. For all I know, I am just another face in the multitude. I rarely speak of this, however. One time when I spoke out in my opinion of the King, they all laughed at me. I felt very young and naive, even though there are several wives younger than myself. Only one woman seemed to understand: Lady Thiang, mother of the Crown Prince, Chaufa Chululongkorn. Perhaps I will find time to talk to her later.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, April 30th, 1862**  
  
Anna Leonowens arrived last night. The King brought us all out of our bedchambers to meet her.  
  
The King only named a few of his wives when he introduced us to Missus Anna. He could not name all of us, there are far too many. It pleased me, though, to feel his hand rest on my head as I knelt before him, and he introduced me as 'Lady Jinn Nee'.  
  
I am very proud of my daughter. She walked proudly when presented to this new teacher, and was not shy at all. This teacher is very odd indeed. I have never seen such pale skin, nor such brightly coloured hair. She wears a very large dress, shaped like the top of the palace entryway. She showed us her legs underneath, but I do not see the use of wearing such a large and inconvenient covering, if it was not to hide the fact that she was legless.  
  
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[author's note:] I don't own the musical this was based on, this story is for fun and not for profit, blah blah blah.  
  
I've decided to group it into chapters to help organize this better. And for those of you who didn't read the description and don't know where this came from, I am currently playing a wife in a production of this musical, and decided to develop my character by writing this journal. You lucky people get to read it! Well, my name's Jenny, and that's where I took my Siamese name from: Jinn Nee.  
  
I hope you like it, please review, more coming soon... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  
  



	2. Missus Anna

Jinn Nee, Personal Diary  
  
**Siam, Royal Palace, August 23rd, 1862**  
  
Missus Anna has been in the palace for a few months now. She is teaching us English, and the customs of Western culture. My daughter still speaks to me in Siamese, but in class she speaks English very well. I wonder if the King is pleased. Maybe next time I am with him I will speak English.  
  
I have good news, also. I will soon bear for the King another child. A few months more. I hope it is a boy. I want to give my King another son. He seems to be looking at me often when the wives are gathered. I think he is pleased that I am with child.  
  
Missus Anna has told the wives about her husband, Tom. At first I thought it was odd that Tom did not take many women as his wives, but from what Missus Anna says, he loved her very much. I wonder what it would be like to be the only wife of a man. I think that would be too much attention. Wouldn't the man get sick of having only one woman?  
  
Perhaps eagerly waiting for the few and far between moments I get with my King make it all the better.  
  
I almost got a chance to talk to Lady Thiang today. I would like to talk with her about the King. It is hard to make myself noticed among the multitude of wives.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, September 26th, 1862**  
  
I have noticed something about the Burmese slave girl, Tuptim. She is in the palace of the King of Siam, but I can tell she still longs for another. I was at the window getting some fresh air last evening, and I saw her secretly meeting with the man who brought her to Siam. I find it odd that he has not been sent back to Burma yet. I can understand that she loves another man, but I can't understand why she continues to pursue him. I would guess that she is about my age, and by now I would have seen that pursuing another man is useless when I could have the King...  
  
Still, I wonder. Is it for her the way it was for Missus Anna and her Tom?  
  
I think I feel the same way about my King, but I have no chance at being his only woman. He is the King! He has many, many wives. I don't even know if he feels anything for me. I can only hope.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, October 11th, 1862**  
  
I had a chance to talk to Lady Thiang today. She told me that she indeed knew who I was, and remembered that conversation long ago when the other ladies laughed at me. She told me that the King was indeed something wonderful, and told me of her experiences dealing with him. She said that the King always did what he thought was right, even if it was not... and that he was good at making up for his wrongs.  
  
She asked about my baby and I told her I wanted a son for the King. She said that the King would be pleased with either a girl or a boy. Still, I wish for a son.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, December 30th, 1862**  
  
Today Missus Anna taught us about snow. There are many things about the world I do not know, and there are many things that seem unbelievable. Snow is one of them. If cold white stars fell from the sky here, I would not think it was beautiful. I would think it was frightening. Stars belong in the sky. The children did not believe it either, and told Missus Anna this. The King came to the schoolroom during the argument and agreed with Missus Anna. There _is_ such a thing as snow. I hope I never see it.  
  
That was the only lesson we got today. The King became angry with Missus Anna when she refused to obey him. She left the schoolroom, and I have heard she is returning to England.  
  
I do not understand this scientific woman. It is not her place to argue with the King. Unlike some of the other wives, I am happy to be one of the King's women. I would have thought someone as scientific as Missus Anna would understand and be happy as well.  
  
I do know that I don't want her to leave.   
  
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[author's note:] I do not own this musical, this story is not for profit, etcetera etcetera.  
  



	3. The Visiting English and Tuptim's Escape

Jinn Nee, Personal Diary  
  
**Siam, Royal Palace, January 11th, 1863**  
  
Missus Anna did not leave, after all. I saw Lady Thiang go to her. I was in the hallway, concealed in the shadows. I am a quiet person. It is easy for me to overhear things that I otherwise shouldn't.  
  
Lady Thiang convinced Missus Anna to stay and help the King. I am very glad of this. Many times I wish I am a scientific woman, who can be the King's equal.  
  
Many times also I am ashamed of this thinking. Women are lowly, not like men. No one could be an equal to the King, not ever.  
  
Princess Tuptim met with her lover again tonight. I watched them from my window. They were not very cautious, they did not even see me in the window. They must be very much in love to carry on in such a way. I now think Tuptim is lucky, not foolish. The man she cares for returns her affections often and passionately. I am beginning to understand why the older wives were so dissatisfied with their romantic arrangements. I will not desert my King, however.  
  
Especially since it is he that I love.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, January 14th, 1863**  
  
Last night we were rudely awakened by some unpleasant news. The King is hosting a gathering for the English in his Palace, and the main party will arrive in less than a week. We have only a few days to get ready. Missus Anna has selected me to dress in Western clothing to show to the English, and I am performing in Tuptim's theatrical production for the English, as one of the vocalists.  
  
The King had us all seek wisdom from Buddha, to help us finish our tasks. I am very anxious about this visit from the English. I have heard many unpleasant stories about their people.  
  
Missus Anna is English, however, and she is not unpleasant.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, January 18th, 1863**  
  
I am writing this note quickly before the theatre production begins. Wearing Western clothing was horrible. The dress made moving around very difficult, the shoes squeezed my toes until I thought they would break, and we wives did something that must have embarrased the King greatly.  
  
An English man, whom Anna called Sir Edward, wore the Evil Eye on his face. Lady Thiang tells me that it is only a spying glass, but I am still unsure.  
  
If only Missus Anna had informed the wives of the use of undergarments under such a large skirt.  
  
To remember in the future, it is not a good idea to use one's skirt to hide one's face in, especially if one does not want to expose what is underneath.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, January 18th, 1863**  
  
Two entries in one day. This is a lucky journal.  
  
The situation here at the palace is not so lucky, however. Princess Tuptim has fled the palace. She slipped out at the end of the theatrical presentation, when everyone's attention was diverted to the dancers. I believe she has run away with her lover.  
  
I am torn between envying her and disdaining her.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, January 21st, 1863**  
  
It is all over. Tuptim has been captured, and her lover slain.  
  
It is all rather scary, I think, but this journal is all I would share that feeling with. I do not know what the other wives think. They seem to be ignoring it all. One of them told me that it is not a matter for the wives to be concerned with. Even Lady Thiang refuses to speak with me about it.  
  
I slipped very quietly into the hallway outside the Great room where the King had taken Tuptim, and I listened. I heard Tuptim's frightened whimpers and I lost all feeling of disdain. She was only a young girl, afraid and alone, no older than I. She had suffered much more hardship, coming from poor people, when I had lived as a King's wife for most of my young adulthood. I also heard Missus Anna arguing with the King. She did not agree with the punishment of Tuptim. I knew what this punishment would be, and why the wives refused to talk about it. Slaves who disobeyed were whipped severely, and some did not live through the experience.  
  
Their argument escalated until I heard the King proclaim that he would whip Tuptim himself. This did not come to pass, however. I heard the whip as it was thrown down, and a second later my King came out of the Great Room, directly into the hallway where I was listening. He did not seem to see me, and passed me by without even looking twice. I was very frightened by now and shrank behind an ornamental pillar.  
  
The sight which I witnessed next will haunt me in nightmares for eternity. My hand trembles even now as I write. Guards dragged Tuptim out of the Great Room into the hall, and began to beat her. She let out only one scream before the guards bound her mouth, but the punishment went on and on until I could almost feel the blows that split her skin. When they finally finished, I had no idea how much time had passed, but I waited until they dragged the body away. Tuptim was most definitely dead.  
  
Somehow, I made it back here. I do not remember how. And tonight, dear Journal, I cannot write any more.  
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[author's note:] I don't own the musical this was based on, this story is for fun and not for profit, etcetera, etcetera 


	4. Growing up, Growing wiser

Jinn Nee, Personal Diary  
  
**Siam, Royal Palace, February 1st, 1863**  
  
It has been very difficult to continue in this journal. I think that in many ways up to this point I was a child, and very naive about the world around me. Now I have seen much and.... I am no longer a child.  
  
About a week ago, only a few days after my last entry, I bore a second daughter for the King. Suk Suni has not yet been presented to her father. I do not know when the King shall see her. Lately, he has remained in the Great Room and will not leave. I have heard he will take no nourishment or rest.. he merely studies his books and ignores the rest of the world.  
  
I wonder what he is doing, what he is thinking. Does he think the world has gone on without him? I have been excused from many of my duties due to the birth of my daughter, and I find that I think about him often. I wish I could go to him, but the guards will not let anyone disturb him - especially someone as lowly and nameless as myself. They wait for the King to call for someone... but I know my King will not call for someone. He thinks he can do everything alone.  
  
And it is killing him.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, February 3rd, 1863**  
  
I am back on my feet and moving about the palace again, though it is harder to listen with an infant daughter. I think she is like me, though. She is a very quiet child.  
  
Yesterday I heard Lady Thiang talking to Missus Anna. After the... incident a few weeks ago, Anna decided she needed to leave the palace. Even after what she has done to my King, I do not want her to leave. She has taught us so much in her time here and I do not know what we should do without her. I did not catch the whole conversation, because Suni began fussing, but it sounded like Anna will go see the King. Chululongkorn sounds to be very frightened. I do not blame him. He is to be the next King, after all.  
  
Listening to the conversation made me curious. Chululongkorn is only a few years younger than myself. There are many things I would like to ask him about life.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, February 4th, 1863**  
  
I left Suni in the care of others today, and managed to hear a lot more about my King's predicament.  
  
I need to go to my King! He will not eat, he will not sleep. He wastes away beside his books. He needs someone with him. Someone to reassure him. Someone to tell him he is smart, kind, wonderful.  
  
I do not care anymore what I witnessed some time ago. I do not care what happened to Tuptim. My King _was_ right. He was right because he is the King! He can do no wrong. Oh, if only someone could make him believe it! He needs someone to love him.  
  
I thought that someone might be myself. The guards permitted me to look into his room. I imagined him turning his head. I imagined his eyes lighting up, life coming back into them. I imagined him raising a hand, imploring the guards to let me in. I would rush in and fall to my knees next to his sickbed. He would raise himself and take me in his arms. I would bring him out of the stale room, into fresh air and sunlight. He would go on living, because I was there.  
  
What I saw was Lady Thiang kneeling near his bed, head bowed. He did not look my way, he did not even open his eyes. No one saw me.  
  
Later tonight the wives will maintain a vigil near his bed. All of us. The nurses will bring the children. Perhaps my King will finally see his daughter. I have heard that Missus Anna will see the King tonight.  
  
We shall see. I almost do not want her to see him. I do not want things to get worse.  
  
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**Siam, Royal Palace, February 5th, 1863**  
  
Last night we kept a vigil near the King's bedside. Missus Anna was there, also.  
  
The King saw my daughter. The children were presented to him, and as the nurse held my infant daughter, I thought I saw him smile. No - I am sure I saw him smile. He smiled at me.  
  
It was a weak smile. I had dreamed of rousing my King from his depression. I knew then that he was beyond even the greatest reaches of love. My eyes met Lady Thiang's, and her look told me that she knew, and understood, and had tried as much as I wished I could have to bring back our King.  
  
The King presented Chululongkorn to us. He made his first proclamation as King-to-be.  
  
He proclaimed that we shall crouch no more to show respect for our King! The men shall bow as the English gentlemen do, and the women shall curtsy. I watched my King all through this speech. I saw the effect on him. His wishes to rule Siam in his own way were surely being broken right there. Were we to become only another extension of the English?  
  
We were all shown how to show respect to our new King. I merely went through the motions. My eyes were on the bed.  
  
My King, was on the bed, head back, eyes closed, muscles slack.  
  
My King was dead.  
  
And who was beside him, weeping? Missus Anna! Not myself, not Lady Thiang, but this English lady in whose desire to change my King had killed him!  
  
I wish Siam had never seen this English woman. But then, if Siam had never seen her, what would my King be? Just another King in the line of Kings?  
  
Or the King who brought Siam into the modern nations of the world? I shall never know. I do know that in my heart he will always be my King. And as the whole room sank down into a final kowtow, I knew that everyone else felt the same way.  
  
Always.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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[author's note:] What, you thought that was the end? Updates soon, with a sequel! I'm going to post it under the same story as new chapters, just so people can read it. Stay tuned! 


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